Why Do We Stay Where We Don’t Belong? A Reflection on Accepting Less Than We Deserve

Lately, I was trying to come up with the next topic for the Lotta Beauty blog. Usually, these articles come straight from my own thoughts, my heart, or even the conversations I’ve been having with people around me. I’ve always believed that behind Lotta Beauty is simply a human being — someone going through life, learning, stumbling, rising, just like anybody else. And maybe by sharing a piece of this journey, I can reach someone out there who needs to hear these words today.

Recently, I’ve been through quite a lot — and it’s funny how the universe seems to coordinate our experiences. I’ve noticed even my friends are going through similar phases of endings, new beginnings, and deep questions about why we’re still standing in places that no longer serve us. Why do we give endless second chances? Why do we accept less when deep inside we know we deserve more? Why do we keep hoping that by staying the same, something will magically change?

I’ve been trying to find answers.

WThe “Let Them Theory”

Not long ago, I was in New York for school, and each day I walked past this little bookstore. In the window sat a book I’d heard was going viral: Let Them Theory. I didn’t pick it up then. With all my traveling, my suitcase is already half books. But later, back in Florida, I wandered into another bookstore — and there it was again, staring right at me. This time, I bought it.

Funny how life works. Because when I finally opened those pages, it was exactly what my soul needed.

The idea is simple: Let them.

Let people be exactly who they are. Let them show you through their actions what matters to them, what they value, how they see you. Let them gossip, let them walk away, let them choose silence, let them disappoint you.

Because in that space of simply letting people be, you see clearly. You understand what they’re capable of giving — and what they’re not. And then you get to decide: Is this enough for me? Is this the kind of love, friendship, family, or environment I want to keep investing my precious time and heart into?

The Hard Truth About Staying Too Long

It’s human nature to try to hold on. We fear the unknown. We try to control people, situations, outcomes — believing that if we just do more, stay longer, love harder, everything will finally fall into place. But most of the time, we’re only delaying the inevitable, draining our spirit, putting our dreams on hold for people or places that don’t deserve that power over us.

Often, we give second, third, and tenth chances, not because the other person is so worthy, but because we are terrified to step into a new chapter. We confuse comfort with love. We confuse familiarity with loyalty. We accept less because it feels safer than venturing out into the unknown to find what we truly desire.

The Reality You Can’t Control

Here’s what I’m learning (slowly, painfully, beautifully):

You can’t control what people think of you.

You can’t control what they say about you.

You can’t control if they stay, or go, or how they choose to love you.

You can only control yourself. Your choices. Your standards. Your boundaries. Your heart.

And remember — unhappy, unfulfilled people will always try to pull others down. It’s a mirror of their own insecurities and lack of joy, not a reflection of your worth. Let them. Let them judge, let them envy, let them misunderstand you. Because at the end of the day, their projections have nothing to do with your reality.

So What Now?

We’re all going to make mistakes. We’re all going to have moments when we stayed too long, loved too hard, apologized when we weren’t wrong, or hoped for change that never came. That’s okay. It’s how we learn.

But eventually, you’ll reach a point where you decide your peace matters more. Your dreams matter more. Your self-respect matters more.

That’s when everything shifts. You start focusing on people who pour into you the way you pour into them. You open yourself to new chapters, new experiences, new loves, and new adventures that were always waiting — you just had to be brave enough to let go of what was weighing you down.

A Gentle Reminder from Lotta Beauty

Behind Lotta Beauty is just a woman trying to figure out life, too. I built this brand not just to sell skincare, but to create a little corner of the world that celebrates self-worth, growth, and glowing — inside and out.

So if you’re reading this and it feels like it’s speaking to your heart: let them.

Let people be exactly who they are, and then decide if that fits into the happy, peaceful life you’re creating.

And keep going. You deserve a life that lights you up — with people who see your magic and mirror it back to you.